Masculine Feminine Balance

//Masculine Feminine Balance

Masculine Feminine Balance

What do Superman, Yoda, Mary Poppins and Dumbledore have in common? Besides all being heroes and heroines in movies, they have each mastered their masculine-feminine balance. They combine the qualities of strength and caring. They are powerful, loving and wise. They inspire us to be the best version of ourselves.

The Key to Health and Well-Being is Finding Your Balance

Master Your Balance, Master Your Life

Regardless of your gender, you have inner masculine and feminine qualities:

  • Masculine = Your true expression of Power (Strength)
  • Feminine = Your true expression of Love (Caring)
  • Balanced = Your true expression of Wisdom (Healthy, Balanced Human with Integrity)

Examine where you find yourself on the chart. As you consider the four quadrants of masculine-feminine expression, how much strength and caring do you exhibit? How balanced are you? Where can you allow more of your true expression, your Soul, to shine through?

Are you there for your family all day but never make time for yourself? Are you timid in relationships but confident at work? Will you spend whatever it takes when your dog is sick yet refuse to give change to a needy person on the street? Most of us have various aspects of ourselves in different quadrants and it’s helpful to know where we are so we can figure out how to get to where we want to be.

We hope that this is a useful tool to discover more about yourself and find your balance. Everyone can master their life, including you.

The Quadrants: Strength and Caring

Strength & Caring - Dumbledore

Dumbledore

Strength & Caring - Neytiri

Neytiri

Strength & Caring - Yoda

Yoda

Strength & Caring - Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins

Strength & Caring - Superman

Superman

Every so often you meet someone whom you would describe as a strong, caring person. They are focused and determined to do their best, and their competence stems from this dedication to self-mastery. They are compassionate with themselves and others, courageous in their trust of Spirit, and inspiring in their enthusiasm for life. They seem at ease with and in command of themselves. They access an inner wisdom and it shows in the way they treat themselves and others.

They are open to new ideas, enjoy new experiences, and take wise risks. They are mindful and aware, and decisive when they are clear about what course of action to take. They have a positive attitude, recognize the collaborative nature of life, and seek to create harmony with others. They take care to speak and act with integrity, even when this may mean breaking the rules.

Their humanity extends to all, with empathy for the well-being of others. They love their friends and family and care for them deeply. They laugh easily and enjoy the pleasures of life. They are thoughtful about the needs of others and are kind, patient, and protective of those who are weak. They know how to assist without interfering, and how to balance their generosity with self-protection. They are active in their local and global community and, whether they are raising a child, running a business, coaching a team, tending a garden, cheering a friend, serving in public office, standing up for justice, or volunteering at a food bank, they are devoted to the common good.

Mindful of their own health and well-being, they know when to pause and recharge, when to ask for help, and when it is wise to quit. They avoid toxins in their diet as well as in their environment, including people who would cause them harm. They keep themselves mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually nourished, healthy and strong. They have a zest for life and their enthusiasm is contagious. People and animals feel safe and cared for when in their presence.

The Quadrants: Caring & Weakness

Caring & Weakness - Arthur Weasley

Arthur Weasley

Caring & Weakness - Cinderella

Cinderella

Caring & Weakness - Hagrid

Hagrid

Caring & Weakness - Dorothy

Dorothy

Caring & Weakness - Piglet

Piglet

When someone becomes a victim of their own generosity they are likely caring yet weak. They may value the well-being of others over their own and will give to others even at the expense of their own physical, mental, or emotional health. They may believe this type of suffering to be good. Sometimes this is because of a ‘saviour complex’. Sometimes this is rooted in low self-esteem or a sense of unworthiness.

They may partner with someone who takes advantage or even takes command of their life. In putting their own desires on hold, they teach people to treat them unfairly. They may feel overwhelmed by the demands of others. The repression and suppression of their own happiness can cause them to become depressed.

They may find employment where they lack passion or are not respected, or settle into relationships that are unfulfilling because they feel that they are undeserving of better. They are easily intimidated and often fearful. Their fear may make them anxious and defensive.

They may have difficulty standing up for themselves and doubt their strength. When they do find the courage to stand up to someone who is trying to overpower them, they mistakenly think that in doing so they are treating them unjustly when they are not.

Because of their fear they may remain a bystander when someone is causing harm, even when they could intervene or offer assistance. Often, they judge themselves because they don’t like their cowardice or low level of self-confidence and realize that they are not living up to their potential.

Sometimes those who deeply care about a cause, such as the health of the environment, may feel depressed and overwhelmed. The key is to find their strength through solutions-oriented activism; to focus on what is working, or innovate new ways to address the problems they want to be solved.

Generally, those who want to move out of this quadrant and into strength and caring need to build their self-love and explore and strengthen ways to care more for themselves. They would be wise to find the support they need to bolster their self-esteem and reclaim authority for their life.

The Quadrants: Strength & Uncaring

Strength & Uncaring - Miles Quaritch

Miles Quaritch

Strength & Uncaring - Dolores Umbridge

Dolores Umbridge

Strength & Uncaring - Darth Vader

Darth Vader

Strength & Uncaring - Poison Ivy

Poison Ivy

Strength & Uncaring - Voldemort

Voldemort

Perhaps you know someone who is sure of themselves and seems in command of their life. They are ambitious, driven, and get things done. Sometimes being liked is important to them, sometimes they would rather be feared. What is important is that they get things done their way.

For them, life is a battle, and winning is essential. They will strategize, evaluate, and take calculated risks. Sometimes they get the results they want, sometimes not, but they usually have a plan. Teamwork is important as far as achieving a goal is concerned. However, competition rather than cooperation is a driving force in the group dynamic. Rather than instilling confidence and a sense of safety, they intimidate. You are either with them or against them.

They can be mean, vindictive, and quick to anger. They may be pushy and take advantage of people. When they sense weakness in another person they see an opportunity to dominate. They can be physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive. While other people may be hurt by their unkind words or actions, they justify their greed, selfishness, manipulation, or brutality as necessary. They will fight to be right, and collateral damage is the price of winning the war.

Sometimes perceived as selfish or vain, their focus is on themselves. They may eat well, exercise, and take care of their physical appearance because it’s important to them to be strong, and to be perceived as powerful. Active engagement in community is not important to them unless it furthers their interests. The driving question that motivates their actions is, “what’s in it for me?”

The strong and uncaring person can have many guises. Sometimes they are puritanical or self-righteous in their religious beliefs or fanatical about their political views. They fight for their ideas at the expense of their relationships. They use shaming, guilt, coercion, condemnation, or shunning in order to force someone to agree with them. In this, they behave as a tyrant and victimizer. They lack empathy for the plight of others and their version of love is conditional. While they may protect what matters to them, it is often out of a sense of possessiveness or ownership, especially of their children or spouses.

Another form of the strong and uncaring person is the con man, seductress/seducer, interfering busy-body, or gossip. They may speak sentimental words to convince a person of their thoughtfulness and love. They might use flattery, gifts, or money to endeavor to gain trust. However, they prey on weaknesses of others to gain power over them. This is not real love.

To come into balance, those who are behaving primarily from this quadrant would be wise to care more for others and to deepen their sense of empathy and compassion. For example, they could volunteer for organizations that serve those less fortunate or practice meditation so that they can experience the interconnectedness of life. They need to find ways to recognize and appreciate the value of the lives of others, and use their strength to raise others up.

The Quadrants: Weakness & Uncaring

Weakness & Uncaring - Cinderella

Cinderella’s Stepsisters

Weakness & Uncaring - Dudley Dursley

Dudley Dursley

Weakness & Uncaring - Peter Pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew

Weakness & Uncaring - Gilderoy Lockhart

Gilderoy Lockhart

Weakness & Uncaring - Bella Swan

Bella Swan

When someone’s masculine side is weak and their feminine expression is uncaring, they have lost integrity with themselves and others. They become fearful and easily intimidated. They belittle themselves and others, and hold a negative view of life. They think of themselves as victims of life and blame others for their circumstances. They often form judgments against others and exhibit intolerance and prejudice.

In an effort to be perceived as strong, or perhaps to try to convince themselves of their strength, they may show bravado; boasting about their accomplishments or showing off to impress others. They seek recognition from others because they don’t recognize their own self-worth. They may even take foolish risks that endanger themselves and others.

They often feel isolated and alone because they keep themselves closed off from other people and don’t want to share of themselves or anything that they have. They are perceived as selfish or miserly because they may have lost trust in the caring of others and, in turn, have withdrawn their care as well.

The weak and uncaring person may lose focus on what truly matters. Their attention may become scattered or, conversely, obsessed with trivial things. They can be unreasonable and pessimistic. They may feel despair and even suicidal. Addicts and those who have been abused may find themselves in this quadrant.

To come into balance, those who are primarily living in this quadrant are wise to focus on the positive aspects of life. When both strength and caring are in need of development, the approaches to improving balance depend greatly on the individual. For some, it would be best to strengthen their self-esteem. This could be through getting counseling or coaching, taking a self-defense class, or going to the gym. They could develop a level of mastery in a skill they enjoy using. Others may be drawn to focusing on the needs of other people through volunteer work, caring for animals, or participating in a community garden, musical group, or local club of fellow hobbyists.

Now that you’ve looked at all the quadrants, which one did you identify with?

Are you pleased with your current state of balance? Or, do you see room for improvement?

As a transformation coach, empowering people into balance is my specialty. I invite you to a Free Discovery Session with me to gain clarity about your current state of balance. By the end of our conversation you’ll have a better sense for my style and approach, and I will have a clear window into how I can best serve you.

Whether you’re looking to increase your strength or expand your caring, a Discovery Session with me is a positive next step in moving forward.

Masculine Feminine Balance
CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR FREE DISCOVERY SESSION

The impact of being in balance or out of balance

Whether you’re aware of it or not your masculine-feminine balance is already impacting your:

  • Health
  • Money
  • Sex Life
  • Relationships
  • Self-worth
  • Future

Let’s be honest. Most people are out of balance. So don’t feel down on yourself if you’re not happy with where you find yourself on the chart. This is not an exercise in self-judgment. It’s an opportunity to see your balance and imbalance, and to grasp how this is impacting your life so you can create something better.

The next step is to have a Free Discovery Session to find out more about where you’re at and learn how to make the incremental changes that will bring you more health, happiness and fulfillment. It’s an empowering and important next step to mastering your health and well-being.

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR FREE DISCOVERY SESSION

Albert Einstein wisely said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This is an opportunity to get the clarity you need to break the patterns that have been keeping you from expressing your true brilliance.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be a healthy, balanced human being?

As mentioned earlier, regardless of your gender, you have inner masculine and feminine qualities. You express these as power/strength and love/caring in degrees of intensity. Power and love combined at high intensity is wisdom. A healthy, balanced human being is strong, caring and wise.

Most people are in some state of either falling further out of balance or attempting to recover it. The good news is that our truest Self is balanced. It’s innate. It’s who we really are way down deep inside. It’s our Soul. What takes us out of balance is all the stuff we experience in life and those who’ve influenced us along the way… parents, teachers, friends, relationships, religious and political leaders, conflicts, traumas, the media, books, music, games, movies, etc. We’re also affected by the body and our hormones, societal and cultural expectations, and our environment.

Those who are really mastering life have found intelligent ways to turn down the volume on the stuff that pulls them out of balance and turn up the volume on their innate wisdom that keeps them in balance. They are solidly in the quadrant of strength and caring and are paying attention to maintaining and improving their ability to embody more of their true Self so that they can enjoy their lives and make the world a brighter place.

How do strength and caring combine to create a sense of wholeness, fulfillment, and purpose?

First, let’s look again at strength and caring:

Strength: The strength of the Soul can be described as true power. It’s healthy, protective, and effective. Divine by nature, true power is never “power over another.” Real strength can only be expressed when combined with love, so those who exhibit strength but not caring are truly only expressing a mid-level strength.

Caring: The caring of the Soul can be described as real love. It’s kind, compassionate, and selfless. Love can be a challenging word because of its many interpretations. True love is expressed from the heart. It is not syrupy sweet… that’s sentimentality. It involves no ulterior motives or convincing… that’s controlling. It’s heartfelt and unconditional. It’s when a person considers the needs of others, is really there for them and truly desires their happiness and well-being. As above, real caring can only be expressed when combined with power, so those who exhibit caring but not strength are really only expressing a mid-level caring.

Strength and Caring combine as Wisdom. True wisdom is the knowing of the Soul. This is deeper than intellectual knowledge. It’s a sense of confidence in your real strength and trust in the integrity of your caring. Wisdom is gained through both life experience and listening carefully within to your intuition and deeper knowing. The more you allow this inner knowing to guide your thoughts, words, and actions, the greater your expression of strength and caring. You can feel the increase and know you’re in balance because you feel whole, happy and fulfilled. You’re making wiser choices, and getting better results. In fact, as you master your balance you will naturally begin to fulfill your purpose, which benefits yourself as well as others.

How does our balance affect sex and relationships?

According to The Ancient Ones (spirit guides who assist us), a healthy, balanced man allows the full expression of his Soul’s power, love and wisdom, which exhibits as 60% masculine and 40% feminine. A healthy, balanced woman who allows her full expression exhibits the inverse: 60% feminine and 40% masculine.

These slight differences in expression create attraction. There is truth in the old adage “opposites attract.” People generally attract those who balance out their energy. Unfortunately, the polarities can be far too out of balance. How often have you seen a relationship where one person is strong and uncaring while the other is caring and weak? The bully and the doormat, the sinner and the saint, the lord and the servant? It happens a lot, right? While it’s true that out-of-balance relationships can have passion, chemistry, romance, etc., they can also be very challenging and even damaging.

The closer each person is to their own natural state of balance the more balanced the relationship will be. True partners and Soulmates who are balanced, both individually and together, can express the full potential of this combined masculine-feminine creative force. They can enjoy the best qualities of a healthy relationship such as passion, chemistry, attraction, connection, trust, inspiration and accomplishment. This is not only fun and fulfilling, it’s also mutually supportive and self-healing. Do you see how having healthy balance creates far more ease and enjoyment?

How do I balance caring for myself and caring for others, especially in relationship?

Again, regardless of their gender, everyone has inner masculine and feminine qualities. When a person is caring for themselves and their spouse/significant other and family (me and mine), that is masculine strength. When they are caring for “the world” – community, congregation, a cause to help humanity (everyone else), that is feminine caring.

One way of thinking about masculine strength is that it is a form of caring that is about valuing the lives of yourself and your immediate family. It follows that feminine caring is a form of caring that values the lives of others. Both are needed to be fulfilled and happy. If your focus is on others at the exclusion or expense of your relationship, this is “caring and weakness.” If your focus is on yourself and your relationship and you give little care to others, this is “strength and uncaring.” Men generally tend to express more masculine strength for what is theirs and women generally tend to express more feminine caring for the rights of others. Balance is essential.

A healthy relationship is possible when both partners share their strengths with each other out of a desire to please, provide, and support. It’s an active form of love. Your strengths complement each other; you’re good at this, she’s good at that, and the relationship benefits from the expression of your strengths. You divide the labor in a way that allows you both to enjoy the activities in a spirit of love for one another.

The true sharing of your strengths includes your intention and attitude. Are you doing these things out of duty, obligation, or fear/appeasement, or in a spirit of love and appreciation for your mate and your relationship? There’s a big difference!

Acting out of duty is a weaker form of love that’s often rooted in the idea of giving to get… “I’m doing this so that you’ll give me that.” Sometimes it’s actually fear… “I’m doing this for you so that you won’t do that to me.” This engenders resentment which saps the joy and erodes trust and intimacy.

When you’re sharing from stronger forms of love, you build yourselves and each other up, you become stronger together, and enjoy more of the essential qualities of love in your relationship like trust, intimacy, connection, joy, fun, fulfillment, etc.

Examine how you treat each other. Do you complain about each other? Or, do you share your appreciation for each other and the ways you each contribute to the well-being of your relationship? Are you sabotaging your relationship or strengthening it?

You can start wherever you are, at any age and stage of your life. Ideally, you put your focus on becoming your Soul Self first, because your Soul Self is inherently strong and caring. As your Soul Self, you have something of great value to contribute to a relationship. You will naturally attract or be attracted to a mate who is capable of joining you as their true self. Together, you will make sure that your relationship is kept strong through the active sharing of your love, including caring for your children. From this strong foundation, you can give more of your time and attention to others, join in community, and contribute to the positive evolution of the world from a position of great strength and caring that is balanced and rooted in love.

How does our balance affect our health and well-being?

The key to health and well-being is finding your balance because if you are limiting the true expression of who you are, your health can be negatively affected. Health and disease are a matter of energy flow in the body. The natural healthy energies of your body can be disturbed by your own reactions to experiences, by your beliefs, and by exposure to the unbalanced energies of others and the environment. These are all factors that affect how much of your natural expression you are allowing. When you’re out of balance you’re more vulnerable to illness and disease.

The first step is to identify where you are. Where can you strengthen your masculine qualities? Where can you expand your feminine ones? What needs to change? How do you change it? Do you need to heal from a past trauma? Shift out of a limiting belief? Leave a toxic relationship? Move to a healthier place? As you move up the scale from weakness to strength and from uncaring to caring you will positively improve your own health, and also have a more positive affect on the well-being of others in your life. The Free Discovery Session can help you answer these questions so you can begin making the changes that will improve your situation.

How does our balance affect our money and career?

It is possible for a person to have money regardless of their state of balance. The world is full of examples of people in each of the four quadrants who are wealthy. You may be able to identify a person’s state of balance though by how they created their wealth. Did they make it themselves or inherit it? Did they exploit others or empower them? Did they harm the environment or improve it?

Generally speaking, those who are strong often have more money than those who are weak because they make sure to satisfy their desires. Caring people often feel a sense of satisfaction in their career because they are helping others. Strong and caring people often enjoy having money to meet their own needs as well as the fulfillment that comes from serving a greater good. How well are you caring for yourself and those you love? How happy are you in your career? Would you like to move into greater balance with money and career? There is a way to fulfill both your truest desires and humanity’s greatest needs.

What is it going to take for me to get into balance?

Listen, I’m going to be straight with you. There’s no magic pill. It’s not like I can tell you one exercise or strategy to go do and “Boom!” you’re in balance. However, from my own personal experience with this and from my work with thousands of people, what I’ve seen is that consistency, putting into practice the tips we share, and getting support are the primary ingredients to changing this. It’s not going to be hard. But it’s also not going to be easy. And, you don’t have to struggle with this alone.

If you’re really desiring to create a life and relationships and work and money that’s more fulfilling for you then coming into balance is the first step on that path.

Next Steps

Regardless of how out of balance you are or which quadrant you’re in, it would also be helpful to get assistance from someone who is more balanced than you are now. Professional counseling or coaching can accelerate the process of coming into balance. We are here to support you. And, if we’re not the right fit for you we will do our best to refer you to someone who is.

Please share your comments below. We look forward to hearing from you.

Transformational Coaching Sessions

What would your life look like if you were living as your Soul designed?

Imagine waking up every morning eager to move your life forward because you know your Soul’s purpose…

Excited to put into action the day’s divine plan…

Experiencing life as for you. Feeling vibrant and full of vitality. Truly happy.

A transformational coaching session is a combination of shifting perception, clearing out limitations and learning effective skills that will help you to master your balance and your life.

CLICK HERE TO RESERVE YOUR FREE DISCOVERY SESSION
By | 2017-05-01T13:48:31+00:00 March 21st, 2015|11 Comments

About the Author:

Jack Stephens is Co-Founder and CEO of Soul Self Living, Inc. An avid explorer of spiritual philosophies and wisdom traditions, his quest for spiritual fulfillment led him to the door of his Soulmate, now wife, the channel, healer and Soul Awakener, Stacey Stephens. An outdoor adventure leader in his youth, today his passion is to guide people toward their innate wisdom. Through his transformational coaching sessions, he assists men and women to align their Soul / ego-mind / body, move beyond struggle, access their deepest knowing and fulfill their true desires. He is a certified permaculture designer with decades of experience in the sustainability movement as an organic gardener, natural builder, teacher, and organizer. He and Stacey founded Soul Self Living to bring forward their vision of a healthy and regenerative human culture that supports and integrates with all of life.

11 Comments

  1. Martin Klos April 4, 2015 at 1:04 pm - Reply

    Jack, in business school we had to take multiple personality surveys to determine our “type” The objective style questions led to a score which set your personality into a chart. I like the visual representation here in the diagram, but as linear folks I often see myself and others scoring ourselves badly on traits unless there are objective questions we can say yes or not to. Otherwise a chart like this, informative as it is, tends to make our human sides lead us toward a lower score or less balanced than we might actually be.

    • Jack Stephens April 4, 2015 at 1:16 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Martin. That’s really good feedback. I had a similar thought last week and have begun compiling the questions that would make up a survey. It’s somewhat out of my skill area, so if you want to help develop it, or know of someone else who might, I’d certainly appreciate your input.

  2. Elysian Life Design June 19, 2015 at 7:41 am - Reply

    Hello great article. I am teaching a workshop on spiritual grounding and I am big believer in balance of masculine and feminine energies. I even briefly show the student a way to balance it. I would like to provide them with the image you have and a link to your site. Would that be ok with you for me to use it in that manner?

    • Jack Stephens June 19, 2015 at 8:17 am - Reply

      Thanks for your request. Yes, please use the image in your workshop with our blessing. Our only requirement is that you attribute it back to us with the link to our site, which you have already offered. Have a great event!

  3. Elysian Life Design June 19, 2015 at 8:29 am - Reply

    Wonderful thank you so much!! Your information will be helpful for so many people. Namaste!

  4. Elysian life design September 3, 2015 at 5:41 pm - Reply

    Hello again Jack. I just wanted to touch base once again. I have finished printing the manual and reference guide for the workshop that contains the image you approved for use along with your business name and website. Please let me know if you would like to receive either a copy of the page or entire manual document. Thanks again for allowing me to share your photo as part of the workshop manual

  5. Elysian life design September 4, 2015 at 1:53 am - Reply

    I also have a few locations who want to sell the manual in their yoga studio or wellness center for people who can not attend the class. Let me know if it is ok to use your photo in that format at well. Thank you in advance

  6. Libby October 17, 2015 at 6:49 pm - Reply

    Id love to share this on my blog. I am training to become a life couch and part of my journey is to become more balanced with my femininity. I currently identify with the caring/weakness but I’m already on the way to finding my strength!!

    • Jack Stephens October 20, 2015 at 12:15 pm - Reply

      Right on, Libby! Yes, please feel free to share on your blog!

  7. […] balanced person is both strong and caring; they value themselves as well as […]

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